Sunday, February 20, 2005

We are all Vulnerable!

‘My own vulnerability’ is an expression not often uttered by the stereotypical modern male manager.

To admit to being vulnerable is perhaps to admit you feel weak and that is not seen perhaps as a positive quality in management teaching to date.

I would love to think things are changing and the male macho manager is able to admit his fragility and vulnerability and see that as a positive thing.

Let’s be clear about this – I am not talking about weeping and wailing at the slightest upset – I am simply suggesting WE ARE ALL VULNERABLE and when we can just accept that - we will not feel so bad about the occasional experiences we have that make us feel edgy and nervous – even scared.

Let me illustrate this with a comical but true example about my own vulnerability.

One day last week I was naked on the scales weighing myself as part of the diet I am sharing with my wonderful partner Annie as part of our fitness campaign.

The phone rang – it was for me - Annie brought the phone to me.

It was a client (an elderly woman) returning a call to me about the quality of service in a doctor’s surgery.

I felt unable to have the conversation walking around in the nude carrying a phone!!! …

And yet when I had pulled on a pair of underpants I somehow felt less vulnerable.

Discussing it with Annie afterwards ….. it struck me that although this was funny - it illustrated very powerfully my own vulnerability.

That made me think about how it is so much better to just accept vulnerability as a part of one’s make up and learn to cope with it.

The great news is …. We do not have a video phone - so my blushes were spared!

P.S. …..

This has had a profound effect on me as you will see from the pic above – I now shower fully clothed just in case!!!


dayna said...

*L* Cute post. Introspective as well, another not so typically male characteristic.

Trevor Gay said...

Men and women are different but also similar in many ways - men just find it harder to admit it maybe.

Thanks again for the comment.


felix gerena said...

Your post is proof of honesty, Trevor. All of us are vulnerable, life is hard and everyone has the right to feel weak, to share moments of intimacy and to acknowledge shame. Talking is an excellent remedy for this moments. It is important to share one´s life with a person who can really understand you and does not expect an ideal macho man 24h/24 and 365d/d.

On the other side, the kind of people I don´t like are those who are not able to recognize their frailties and need to have power over others as a way of enhancing their self esteem. Those are real dangerous guys.

Trevor Gay said...

Amen to that Felix - to be vulnerable is to be honest maybe