Friday, February 19, 2010

Fair cop Guvnor - I'm just a big softie

All change on the domestic front this weekend.

Annie and I are downsizing from our 4 bedroom house to a very nice 3 bedroom flat and we are staying in our lovely Warwickshire village. This has come about for a few reasons not least the recession which has finally begun to affect business.

We’ve decided to hold on to our asset by letting our house and renting something cheaper. This, I gather, is a route many people are taking as the recession bites.

Initially we plan to rent for a couple of years at least until the housing market picks up at which point we may consider selling our property. Alternatively we may decide to rent long term and allow our house to increase in value as a long term investment for our dotage!!

So this is another ‘coping with change’ episode in our ever changing lives. This will be the third house move in four years. Who said life is dull?

We have a lot to be thankful for in our lives and there are far more positives than negatives.

One thing we are really struggling to come to terms with is that we had to say goodbye on Tuesday to our two wonderful dogs Rusty and Bertie – pictured above - because we are not allowed dogs in the flat.

We’ve had these two little gems with us for two years since they were puppies and we are staggered, in fact completely overwhelmed by the massive impact losing them has had on us both.

Annie and I are permanently holding back the tears (most of the time that is). Whoever said 'real men don't cry' was completely wrong!

It is incredible how these two little chaps have had such a profound effect on us. We under-estimated the loss we are suffering. We know it will get better but right now I have to say it hurts like hell.

To anyone who says I’m exaggerating I would say you are perfectly entitled to that view. From where I’m sitting believe me there is no exaggeration. We humans can learn so much from dogs about the real meaning of unconditional love and loyalty. These qualities are just automatic for our canine friends.

I’ve no doubt we miss them more than they are missing us.

The great news is that Rusty and Bertie are with a lovely family of four whom we know well and the love they are receiving is great.


J.KANNAN said...

Hi Trevor,

Change is always good and will do I firmly believe in it.

A wise and nice decision by you and Annie moving into a flat from Warwick shire village. Both you have taken a joint decision at least at this point of time otherwise the recession would dominate and start chewing after biting.

You will take right you would be prompted to do only right things by Annie-You are indeed Blessed couple.

Life will be dull only when people don't make moves and both of your lives will never be dull, as you keep making moves, on the contrary its going to be brighter and brighter-Trevor-Take my words.

Good bye said for a good cause comes through divine vision and decision and not out of ones will. So do not worry about the pets as you have find safer hands to hand over the pets- Here again you are lucky.

My dear Trevor, tears are not meant to be held back...................rather it should roll down from eyes through cheeks and touch the lips to taste the salinity, that's real life and living-Let,s accept the facts of life.

And according to me "The Men who Really Don't CRY are not men- and all of us (Men) at some point of time or other must and certainly have cried............ atleaset after wedding (please take in lighter vein women).

Be positive and passionate Trevor, a little loss will lead to many gains.......these are not my words, but words from Supreme Divine and you got believe it and in life one has to miss things and if one does not miss things(which is just next to impossible) in life its not real life and real living.

I take this opportunity to wish you and Annie "ALL THE BEST,GOOD LUCK AND GOD'S GRACE" as you move in to a new place of living.

"God Be With You Both"


hucknjim said...

Hi Trevor,

Sorry you had to give up your dogs and I fully understand how hard it is. I took a kitten into my home about 17 years ago, but at the age of 10 she developed an inoperable bladder tumor. I had to have her put down, but it was hard. She was part of my family, and I grieved. It makes me a little sad even now just thinking about it. Haven't had another cat since and probably never will.


Trevor Gay said...

Dearest JK - your words made us both cry ... thank you so much.

You are a very wise man who has a wonderful gift of finding the right words to say.

The pain we feel is - I know - temporary and one day we will no doubt look back at this time with less emotion.

Right now it is very raw and we keep 'seeing' our dogs in every room of the house. We miss walking with them in the fields and lanes of our lovely village. Most of all we miss them when we return to our empty house and they are not there to greet us with wagging tails showing their utter joy and unconditional love they always display to us both.

Thank you again Sir - We have printed your words and we will keep them by us.

Trevor Gay said...

John - I feel for you.

I've had pets all my life - mainly cats and dogs. I have found them all to be great teachers

It is amazing what an iron grip pets have on our heart strings.

I suspect your decision not to have another cat is probably the best way to go. For the moment Annie and I have said there is absolutely no way we will ever have another dog ... It's far too difficult to cope with the loss.

It's interesting that after 7 years you still have sad moments - that surely shows the love you had for your cat. Well done John.

God bless you.

Unknown said...

Trevor - so sorry you had to give up the pups! I don't have any words of wisdom or anything, just wanted to commiserate with you as best I can from across the other side of the internet...

Anonymous said...

Sorry, but I have to be the negative one in the bunch. Far too many people are selfish in their decisions when it comes to their pets. I don't want to question why you adopted the dogs in the first place and the commitment you made when you took them in, but why take a flat that doesn't allow pets when you have pets? I looked for a rental unit that suited my pets first and me second. That's because they mean a lot to me and I am responsible for them. Lo and behold, I found a beautiful place that suits all of us! I would also like to say that your feeling aren't the only ones that matter. Think of those poor doggies and how they are coping in a new environment without their long-time human friends. Put yourself in their position and then you'll feel heartache! Just had to get that off my chest. Best of luck in your new home...

J.KANNAN said...

Hi Anonymous,

Good morning.

1. To me you look line a person of-"matter of convenience" rather than being "matter of fact" and matter of practical. May be that's your way of viewing and doing things.

2.Unlike many others you seems to be giving preference and priority to pets than pocket(I mean money) and would appeal to you not to be so "Mean".

3.Do not look for every one to be extravagantly rich.............and if you love & like pets, keep patting them, as many has to manage their lives and living within their "means".

My Dear & Beloved Friend "Best of Luck to you and your pet and a request not to take this comment amiss.

With Regards.


Trevor Gay said...

Thanks Dan - appreciate your thoughts.

Trevor Gay said...

Anonyous - Oh how I wish I lived in your perfect world.

We would have done anything to find the right place for all of us to stay together my friend but circumstances and time did not permit that.

I am pleased your world gives you the time to do everything in such a rational, logical and smooth way. My world is not like that - its full of decisions that have to be made which sometimes hurt. Some things have to give. In my world its about about not always getting everything I want.

We were not selfish in our decision and if you knew all the circumstances you wood not have implied that. I hope you are never faced with the decisions we have had to make in the last month but of course I respect your right to your opinion

We could not have loved our two dogs more than we did and we know the family they are with are giving the dogs as much love as we gave them. We are going to see the dogs next weekend and will stay in touch with them.

Trevor Gay said...

Thanks for your comment again JK - we appreciate your thoughts as always.

Marilyn Jess said...

While it may be possible for some to accommodate their pets when they move, for others it isn't. Human needs are a higher priority.

What gets under my skin is when people put their pets above what makes the best sense for themselves.

It's fine to love and care for a pet. We did that for seven years. When his health was failing and we could not take him to our next apartment, we had the vet put him to sleep.

Since he was an adult stray when we found him, the seven years we cared for him extended his life. Those happy memories are what we have now.

I hope that you and Annie have many happy memories of your lads.

Trevor Gay said...

Cheers Marilyn - we gave our two lads as much love as was humanly possible and if we could have made plans to take them wherever we went we would most certainly have done so ... sadly that was just not possible.

Have a great week - we are now offline for a week as our provider re-connects our internet service!

Dave Wheeler said...


I definitely understand the feeling for sure! I know you agonized over the decision and found a way to make the best of a series of circumstances that presented themselves to you. That you found a way to keep the two of them together is most terrific and that you know they are well cared for is a blessing indeed! The emptiness will subside and the memories will be enjoyed in time.

Trevor Gay said...

Thanks Dave - It is sooooo easy for others to make critical comments about our decisions when the full circumstances are not known. I understand how and why people make such comments.

I am grateful as always for your support my friend. You know you have helped me in making some difficult decisions through your wisdom and life experience.

We are seeing the two lads on Sunday afternoon and that will be wonderful. We intend to keep in touch with them as much as we can.